


The Jedi Way

by obviouslyelementary



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, Multi, Past Han/Lando, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, past han/luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9617183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: '“He told me he loved you two the same. You made it easier by moving away” Lando explained, and Luke was sure he did not want to hear those words. He stared at the ground to regain his focus, afraid that he might some of the pain he felt inside. He knew it was his fault, but if he loved the two the same, he would never choose Luke. It made no sense.'Luke was too late, and while trying to become a Jedi, he had to give up on something beautiful.





	

The feeling was weird, seeing the two of them on that altar, laughing, happy, holding hands and making vows, her belly just starting to show the signs of a healthy pregnancy. It felt weird knowing that what they had spent years trying to defeat was already destroyed, and all they had to do now was to collect the pieces and slowly put them back together to form that harmonic puzzle that was the galaxy.

It felt weird, knowing that Han and Leia were made for each other, and that he was supposed to stay alone for the rest of his life, watching the two make a family, a home, and grow in that home that belonged to anyone but them.

Their little trio was over, and it was time for Luke to say goodbye to all of that and move along to fulfill his own destiny, like they were fulfilling theirs.

“Hard, right?” he heard someone saying next to him, and turned his head slowly to see Lando standing right there, hands crossed behind his back as he watched Leia and Han kissing for the last time before walking down the aisle. For a second, the words did not make sense, but soon he understood. 

“For you more than for me, I’m sure” he said, softly, smiling lightly in that calm Jedi way as the couple walked past them. The two were in the front, together with the other testimonies. Lando smiled as well, nodding to his former best friend as he walked away with his wife, before following the crowd with Luke by his side.

“Doubt it. I knew I had lost him long ago” Lando said, smiling to Luke, and the Jedi nodded slowly, staring at the crowd ahead with no expression on his face whatsoever. That was the Jedi way. “And I always knew she was too much for me anyway”

“We had nothing. And even if we had, that is not the Jedi way. Jedi cannot love, not like that. We cannot get married. We must use all our attention and devotion to help the people in the galaxy. We cannot focus on one person only. That was what destroyed my father” he said, his words filled with meaning, and he hoped Lando would understand, or at least pretend to.

“He told me he loved you two the same. You made it easier by moving away” Lando explained, and Luke was sure he did not want to hear those words. He stared at the ground to regain his focus, afraid that he might some of the pain he felt inside. He knew it was his fault, but if he loved the two the same, he would never choose Luke. It made no sense.

“It is impossible to love two people the same” Luke said, and Lando agreed with his head, both of them staying behind the crowd, way after everyone, choosing against congratulating the couple at the moment. Leia was glowing, and so was Han. They kissed before they walked inside the ship that would take them to the place where they would spend their honeymoon, a small hotel in the same planet they were staying at the moment. Luke felt a wave of relief filling his being after the ship flew off, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

“I will leave you now, Luke. I have too many things to organize back in my room. Have a great night” Lando said, and Luke opened his eyes, nodding at the man and smiling lightly. After he left, Luke watched the rest of the guests leaving in their own ships, and he was left alone in the gardens of the temple. With a soft sigh, he made his ways down the long stairs to the pit in front of it, and leaned against the fence, looking at the valley bellow, with forests all the way to the horizon and rivers that cut the earth like veins.

A soft, worried sound came from behind him and he turned to see R2 moving closer to his master. His beeps continued, and Luke smiled weakly, turning around and nodding at the droid.

“I am fine R2. Time to go” he said, placing his robotic hand on the droid’s top and slowly making his way back to his ship, being followed by the small companion. Luke then got inside his X-Wing and put R2 in his place before telling the automatic pilot to take him to the hotel where all the guests were staying.

That was the moment where he let himself close his eyes and the pain leave. He knew Jedi were supposed to let go of all emotion, but he couldn’t. Not when it was so strong. Not when he felt it all as if it was happening right there, in front of him.

 

_“Luke, you know that I…”_

_“I know” Luke muttered, looking at Han silently, waiting for the rejection. He knew none of this could end well. He had foreseen it back in Dagobah. And yet, something inside told him to just speak it, to just let it all go. “I know you love her. I know you love Leia. I am here to tell you what I feel. I already know about the rejection. I just needed to say it before I completed my training. Jedi must be absent of all emotions, and I would never feel really free unless I told you”_

_“Complete your training? Kid, we just won” Han said, because he knew what those words meant. They were in Endor, commemorating the end of the Empire, but Luke knew that wasn’t his only mission. He had so much more to do, and those things couldn’t wait._

_“I know. I am not leaving now, but soon I shall go. If this subject never came up again, I would never forgive myself. Just… Know that my feelings are true. I love you” he said, again, for good measure, and Han stood still, staring at him. They could hear the party far away, where both Lando and Leia were still having fun, dancing, drinking and eating. They wouldn’t miss them if they stayed there, away, for a few hours._

_“Kid… Luke” Han muttered, and then brushed his hair back like he always did when he was nervous. Luke didn’t know why he would be nervous, but then again, the two had become really close friends. Obviously that Han was trying to find a way of not hurting him so bad. It didn’t matter. Luke was ready. He knew what was coming._

_But the fact was that he did not know what was coming. Just like Yoda said, the future was always in motion, and he had forgotten about that, because when Han looked back at him, he stepped forward and held Luke’s face between his hands and kissed him._

_He kissed him, so softly, so tenderly, that Luke froze, his eyes wide. The kiss was chaste, and Han pulled back quickly, but did not move away, just opening his eyes to look at Luke’s wide and confused ones. He chuckled, but it was sad and broken, and Luke stared at him, waiting for answers, for anything._

_“If only you had said it before, kid” Han muttered, and Luke lost his breath as he moved closer again, kissing Luke once more and this time being corresponded. Luke closed his eyes, a soft moan of relief and despair leaving his mouth as his hands moved up to Han’s hair, tugging it lightly and pulling him closer. Han’s hands moved down to the Jedi’s waist, moving him further back until he was pressed between Han’s body and a tree. Luke gasped lightly against the man’s mouth, suddenly feeling small and vulnerable like he felt the first time he saw Han, with that know-it-all smirk and that bad smuggler reputation. Suddenly, he was nineteen again, a simple farmer with nothing more than a few kisses experiences and many dreams about marrying someone handsome and nice but still adventurous and leaving Tatooine for good._

_In a time like that, meeting someone like Han was completely out of question, and yet it was exactly what had happened. Now, it was all plausible, and he had the man of his dreams pressed against him, kissing him, holding him, and nothing felt more right and more wrong._

_“Han” he moaned weakly as the smuggler pulled away from the kiss, breaking it to kiss down Luke’s jaw and neck, leaving soft red marks that would disappear in a few minutes as he bit and sucked the white skin. Luke grabbed Han’s shirt, just at the moment when Han moved his hands down to Luke’s ass, squeezing it as he lifted the Jedi with strength and precision of someone that had done that several times before. Luke tried not to think about the man’s former lovers – one of them, most likely, his own sister – before he wrapped his legs around Han’s waist, his head going back to rest against the tree as he moaned, nails digging on Han’s back through his shirt, crotch pressing against Han’s stomach._

_“Luke” Han muttered back against his throat, and Luke shivered with the throaty tone of Han’s voice. He grind up to the man’s stomach, a needy groan leaving his mouth, and he didn’t wait a second to slowly pull Luke’s black pants down to his thighs. Luke moved a bit to help him out, not caring if they were out in the middle of the pathway, not caring if anyone could come and see them at any moment. He was so needy, so desperate, and Han was there, holding him, kissing him, touching him._

_All of it felt like heaven._

_“Han, please” he muttered in a breathy gasp, looking down at the smuggler, and Han looked back at him, his eyes dark with lust. He nodded, lifting Luke a bit more to remove his own pants down, before he lifted one hand and pressed his thumb to Luke’s bottom lip._

_“Suck” he whispered, and Luke did as told, opening his mouth and slowly licking and wrapping his lips around the digit, sucking softly, moaning around it as he slipped down a bit on Han’s hold and felt the man’s dick hard against his ass._

_That was when a light fear consumed him. He had never done that before, and yet he was giving himself to someone that would clearly never have him aside for that moment of weakness in the middle of a forest, against a tree, with all their clothes on and without any promises of a happy ever after. A knot formed in his throat and he closed his eyes, controlling himself as he felt his eyes burning and a hard pain filled his entire chest. That was it then._

_His hands pulled Han closer as he sucked finger after finger, using the way his mouth was filled to stop any sob that might have wanted to leave it. Sooner than expected, Han removed those fingers and placed his mouth instead, and Luke kissed him back as hard as he could to stop the insane pleasure and sadness of overwhelming him. He flinched when Han’s fingers touched his entrance, but only dug his fingers on the man’s back and kissed him harder, embracing the painful and pleasurable feeling the fingers gave him. Slowly, he was being opened, way more carefully than he had expected, while he was kissed with teeth and tongue and groans and moans._

_Han pulled his fingers away after he was done, and pulled back from the kiss, spitting on his mouth and moving his hand down as he returned to kiss Luke again. This time, however, it was slow, and Luke felt all the words that couldn’t be said right into it. Luckily for him, Han was soon pressing himself against Luke’s entrance, and he could pretend that the sob that left his mouth was of physical pain only._

_“Relax” Han whispered at the sound, hands moving up Luke’s back in a caring way as he pressed inside, kissing Luke’s ear and cheek and neck as he did so. Eirdly enough, Luke could feel the love that dripped from Han, and he sobbed again, head pressed hard against the tree as he held himself together, the tears not yet leaving his tightly closed eyes. The movement hurt, but it wasn’t half of what Luke felt inside. He was so lucky that Han couldn’t feel it too._

_Han took his time, afraid of going too fast, and then started to move inside Luke, while moving one hand to Luke’s own member, stroking him slowly in time with the thrusts and making him gasp and moan between the weak sobs that left his mouth. Han growled and groaned and moaned against his neck, biting and sucking and kissing and making Luke melt in every way possible. He was careful, gentle, and that was worst than if he had just wrecked Luke, because that all meant that he cared. That he felt the same. But he had already made his choice._

_“Open your eyes… I want to see you” Han whispered against Luke’s ear, both of them already panting, moaning, clearly close. It had lasted more than Luke had first imagined, but less than he needed. His chest hurt so much, and yet Han had asked, and he could never refuse Han anything. So he opened his eyes, looking down at the man as he moaned, and they were filled with tears, tears that went down with Han’s last thrust before Luke came, shaking and moaning and sobbing, his eyes closing again and his head falling back. It was too much, too much to keep inside. Two more thrusts and Han came, moaning Luke’s name against his neck, holding the Jedi close, holding onto his clothes, almost as if he didn’t want to let go._

_Luke stopped crying after a few seconds, a rough sigh coming out of his mouth as he nuzzled on Han’s hair, smelling him for the last time, just as Han pulled out, carefully, and looked up at Luke, his eyes shining and filled with apologies._

_But Luke knew it wasn’t the man’s fault, and so he did nothing more than dry his own tear tracks and smile weakly._

 

Luke opened his eyes again, feeling the tears slowly going down his eyes to his cheeks and then falling on his legs. He gave himself a weak smile, and dried the tears away, looking forward through the glass in front of him and seeing the hotel a bit far away from where he was.

It had been his fault, but now Leia and Han were happy now. And that was what being a Jedi meant: forgetting about one’s own happiness in favor of others.

He only hoped the baby they were waiting would bring happiness to the family they were building.

**Author's Note:**

> okay this hurt me a lot, but I had to. Sorry.
> 
> Leave kudos and comments if you liked it!


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